~~~ Anxiety ~~~

Past few days I suffer from a very very bad migraine and it last for a few weeks just that the past few day is the worst ever!!! Goshhhhh I keep feel like puking..... and that is why I keep on suspecting that I might had a tumour in my brain... I was very worried .... Then back on monday nite, I started to dreamt of my relative that had pass away, they were smiling at me and waving at me.... and I've a strange feeling that they wanted  me "to join them"..... and then on tuesday nite I dreamt of my late daddy ..... he hugged me tightly and he told me that he miss me so much and then he dun wanna let me go.... I kept telling him that I have to go now I still have to take care of mummy and ah gal and yet my lover haven accept me.... I dun wanna leave her so soon!!! When I woke up I knew that wasnt a dream and it feel so real!!! I keep on thinking of the dream. Is there any hint in that dream?? Perhaps I might not live longer in this world anymore??? I was horrified  =' (
And the next day I told JJ  that perhaps I cant wait until the day she accept me, and yet she keep on scolding me think too much... I really hope that is I think too much.... I did asked: if anythg happens to me will you accompany me to faced it even though now we haven been together?? And she answered YES!!! That simple reply really touch my heart!!! I felt so so happy to have her in my life... I really love her so much ..... but recently she is so emotional due to her bf keep quarrel with her and yet treated her so so cold..... They've been together for almost a year and yet they keep quarrel.... I did told her that if you guys keep on quarreling I can assure that ur relationship wont last long cos I did encounter that situation before.... If I am selfish enough I will make them break easily but I dont wanna see JJ sad.... No matter what happen I will always support JJ and will keep comfort her when she is sad.... I will remember all the promises that i had promised you!! I will not give up you JJ!!! I wanna spend my life - every single seconds with you JJ!!! JJ I am very sure that you are my true love, although you were not my first gf but you will be the LAST!!!! JJ I love you .... If we really got together then I am sure that I will not make you unhappy and keep on making you feel like the first time we date ^^

Dear Dear I miss you!!!!

Dear Dear these few days I can feel that u treated me so cold and last nite I called you but u seems so moody and talk to me roughly.... saying that u will not meet me anymore u know at that time my heart feel so pain??? Do u understand my feeling??? Can you feel it?? But its ok, I dont mind perhaps you are moodless so I dun wanna bother u so much.... But I really hope that u know I miss you so so much... I dun dare 2 sms or call you because I scare u will be annoyed by me... but at last I still sms and call you because I really cannot stand the day without hearing ur voice!!!!..... I love you is not because of your look..... Today saw u post something abt ur constellation, saying that u r a bad boy always treated people so cold but still got alot peoples got attracted by you...... I just wanna let u know that I love u not because of ur look!!! Is because I really love you - it is your caring and the way you treat people that attracted me!!! I know I might failed to chase you but I dun k at least I tried my best and I will not regret!!! I dun wanna lose you!! I really wanna to be with you dear dear!!! I really love you! I have no one to talk to so what I can do is to write down all my feeling towards you..... Dear ur heart is made out of flesh not steel so I am confident as long as I dun give up I will still have chance!!! So I hope that you dont forced me to give up!!! I will keep trying no matter what!!!

First Time Blogging

First time writting blog, really don't know what to write about.
If you were to ask me why I will start writting blog and my answer will be just ONE
IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERSON I LOVED!!!!!
Last time my friend did ask me to join into this blogging life but I rejected with the reasons of :
What for to share all your daily routines and the problems or challenges that you faced in life with others???
But now I wish that I could take back those word......
Ok first of all, since no one know about who is my lover and that person wanted me to keep it as a secret so I would like to give her a nick name, let us address her as JJ.
Ermmm....... The first time when I saw her I was atrracted to  her, then later we met up this strange feeling become stronger and stronger. I dunno whether I should call this as "Crush at the First Sight" And now I really cant give up her... everytime when I know she is sad I will be also very "emo"....  I love the way she smiles it is very sweet and a little funny ^^ In shorts, I just love the way she is ^^
Now she haven accept me due to some "reasons". But I am confident enough, as time goes by she WILL accept me in future.

I think I should call it as a day, Time to go to bed, Good nite peeps
Gd9 dear dear sleep early k?? Tmr still gt class to attend dont be late ya ^^